The Fantasy of Real Life
by Sydney47
Summary: Nocturne re-written. Vaughn wants to make his fantasies with Sydney a reality. Can he do so before he and Syd are ripped apart once again? This involves angst big-time, so if you're reading, I hope you like that stuff. Enjoy, and please review. 1 part.


_The Fantasy of Real Life  
_

He had wanted to give her everything. And so he had… but only through illusion. Ironically enough, of all that he had wanted to share with her, he was only able to give her his fantasy of a real life.

_She was ready with an answer as always; it was going to be as simple as handling the question about their bogus trip to Rome. Just make something up that sounds enough like the truth to fool anyone. But Vaughn wanted the whole truth… his truth, actually._

_Cutting Sydney off, he answered the question about their fake engagement as it was meant to be answered. "I had this whole romantic weekend planned. Presidential suite at the Biltmore, candlelit dinner overlooking the ocean… So we went into town, and she wouldn't stop talking about the zoo. So, we went to the zoo. Figured I'd get it over with._

"_And then I saw how happy it made her. It made me forget about all my stupid plans. And here we had this personal chef making this unbelievable meal at the hotel, and… I proposed on one knee in sawdust in front of a giraffe with a crooked neck."_

It was a nice memory – dream, rather. It was what he would have given her three years ago had that fateful night never happened.

But it had. And they were ripped apart for almost two years.

_Back from another draining day at work, Vaughn stopped at Sydney's house to drop her off. She tried to steer their parting conversation towards the fact that the enemy was still winning, but Vaughn wouldn't have any of it._

"_So, I did it," he said, smiling._

"_Did what?"_

"_I booked the hotel."_

_Sydney smiled at just the thought of getting away for a few days. "No you didn't."_

"_Yes, I did."_

"_You did?" she asked in almost disbelief._

"_Mm-hmm."_

"_Santa Barbra," she sighed happily._

"_Three nights starting tonight. I mean, it was probably the greatest phone call I've ever made."_

"_You're a genius,"she stated as she leaned over to kiss him._

"_Thank you."_

Little did they know that it would be their last kiss for some time, and Santa Barbra would remain a dream.

They did have hockey. He would grant himself that. Like the time that they first discussed a weekend away together, and the last time he would see Sydney as the free-going spirit that dwelled forever in his fantasies.

"_What position did you play," Sydney asked him as he helped her improve her shot._

"_I was defense. In high school, coach moved me up to center."_

"_You were a chick-magnet, right?"_

_Vaughn laughed. "Actually, my first face off I took as center, I got knocked right on my ass. The other team's center was like this 15-year-old, six-foot-two, bearded… actually, probably on steroids, now that I think about it…"_

_Looking up at him, Sydney laughs._

_Vaughn continued, "Finally, there were twelve seconds left, we were down by a goal… I'd had my teeth kicked in so many times, I just said, 'Screw it.' I stopped caring, won the draw, skated around him, moved in for the shot…" He skated around Sydney, reliving his story._

"_You tied the game," Sydney finished for him._

_Vaughn sighed. "Nah. I hit the post. But I did learn something about how we can let fear get in the way. Syd, I know you want to take things slow, but… what are you afraid of?" he asked seriously._

_He was tired of the fantasies, sick of the dreams remaining dreams; he needed something real… **now**. He knew there was no doubt that they were meant to be together, and he didn't want to skirt around that fact any longer. Time had been their enemy before, and he still believed it was. Why give it the chance to separate them again?_

_But his question would be left unanswered… for now._

Just as Vaughn had feared, there had been nothing in Latuza's office. No information about the drug, no antidote.

"Damn it!" he yelled, as he punched a wall in frustration. "Jack," he said into his comm, "we're going to have to find something else... Jack?" he questioned when he received no response.

"Jack, can you hear me?" Nothing.

He rushed out of the office and back to the alley to find a frightened and confused Sydney standing over her father.

Vaughn couldn't believe the sight in front of him. "Sydney! Wha—" He stopped when she pulled out a gun and trained it on him.

"What are you doing!" Vaughn asks incredulously.

"Get down. On your knees."

Vaughn held his hands out placatingly. "Sydney, it's Michael. I'm here to help you, now put the gun down."

"Don't lie to me," she said lowly.

"Sydney… Sydney, listen to me…"

Frightened by what she thought she had to do, Sydney started to sob. "Put your hands up now!"

When Vaughn did so, she spat at him accusingly, "I know what this is. This is a _game_ to you! A cruel joke at my expense."

"What, what's a game?" Vaughn asked, confused.

Raising the gun to his face, she answered, "You and me. Admit it."

"No, Sydney… Sydney, listen to me. What are you scared of?"

The question was back, and he would finally receive an answer.

"I _am_ scared! Scared you're going to betray me again… like you did when you married Lauren."

"Sydney, I would never, ever hurt you…"

"Stop! Stop right there!" she shouted as he started to approach her.

But, he kept coming, trying to talk her into giving the gun to him.

"You need to give me the gun, all right?

"I said stop!" she shouted desperately.

"Just give me the gun…"

As he reached out towards her, she fired, and a shattering pain went through his shoulder, throwing him backwards to the ground.

Sydney looked at him, shocked at what she had done, and dropped the gun.

"Sydney!" Vaughn shouted after her as she ran to the van.

That was the last time he saw her alive.

Two days later, she and the van were found along an open road, smashed into a large tree. At the speed that she was driving, there was no chance for survival. The paramedics declared it suicide.

And that left Vaughn and Jack to prepare her funeral… again.

Vaughn couldn't handle spreading her ashes at sea, not twice. So, they settled for a burial under a light rain. So drowned in his grief, all Vaughn could hope for at that moment was a flash flood that would sweep him away from this pain.

The funeral over, Vaughn looked up at the gray sky, longing for a time when he would be kneeling next to a giraffe with a crooked neck in front of the woman of his dreams with a ring in his hand. He cursed himself.

'God damn,' he thought. She really was the woman of his dreams. But, what they both needed was reality for once. And now it was too late.


End file.
